Queen of the MILFs

Hey, folks, it's your favorite Insomniac!  So my good friend Hayley and I decided we wanted to write Guest Blogs for each other and do a little switcharoo on our blogs today.  While brainstorming for topics she went to her husband for ideas (because we were fresh out) and he came up with writing about life as a hot mom writer. Wellllll I absolutely love this idea!  Because.  Because!  Awhile back my friend Dy Saturday, during one of the many ridiculous and outrageous #wineparties on Twitter, had an epiphany.  He decided he wanted to head up a club of woman who write, are mothers, and are also hot.  He made me the head of it, or Queen, or whatever and even made a silly little Twitter list to go with it.  (By the by, he's the only dude in the club.  What a misogynistic pig, yeah?)  So was born The Hot Mom Writers Guild. Don't forget to visit The Insomniac's Dream to read Hayley's take! And . . . Now we begin. So, I'm a Mother.  We know this.  I have two Tinys, and one Tiny Angel.  I got this mom thing in the bag.  No denying this.

Busy writer moms don't cook, we go to Subway

I'm a writer.  I won't put up an argument there either.  I write all the time, every day.  On my blog, long winded posts on FB, 4-5 page texts on my phone to The Writer, in journals, letters by hand, short stories, and a book.  I write.  Every.  Day.  All.  Day.  So, we all agree I'm a writer?  We probably also agree I'm pretty decent at this gig,  yeah?

Journals ("Wherever you go, go with all your heart" "Where the is love, there is life")

I've got two out of three so far. Hot?  Nope.  Not going to happen.  That is not an adjective used in association with me, at least not from myself about myself. But in the spirit of playing this game and holding up my appointed title as Queen of the HMWG we are going to pretend I'm hot.

Hot Mom Writer (We drink a lot- it facilitates writing)

So, how does it feel to be a HMW?  Well it's pretty amazing, folks.  All three in and of themselves are awesomesauce. I like being a Mom, it's pretty fun most days, and always rewarding.  I'm pretty good at this gig, and I love every minute, every day with my boys.  I have enjoyed traveling this road with them, from babies to toddlers to children and now into the Tweens.  It has been a hard road to travel, but ever loving, the best trip I have ever taken.  It is so awesome to watch them as they come into their own, develop personalities and opinions, become the men they are going to be.

Howdy Ma'am (Tiny Bard)

I do my best every single day, and I make a lot of mistakes.  A lot.  Of mistakes.  I fuck up all the time.  That's what this parenting thing is all about.  It's a learn as you go process, and every time you think you have it figured out, the entire game plan changes.  I wouldn't change a damn thing.  Not a goddamn thing.  These boys are my life, my loves, my reason for living and breathing.

License and registration, please (Tiny Artist)

GAWD I love writing!  It's my passion and how I express myself best.  You might find this difficult to believe, but when it comes to the spoken word, I am not so eloquent.  I stumble over my words, sometimes I even stutter,  and I can never articulate what my brain is trying to convey.  But put me in front of a keyboard and watch out, folks.  The words flow from my brain down through my arms and through my fingers and I can express whatever I need to, sometimes even what I don't want to because even my heart finds its way through my fingers to the keys at times.  Sometimes my very soul ekes out its two cents, too.

Sometimes, I write by hand (You will see my inspiration to the left)

Creating fiction is amazing.  You are a God.  You create worlds.  You create people.  And in this world, where you rule all, anything and everything you want to happen can and will.  (Not to say that sometimes the story doesn't take over for itself.  I have had experiences where something wrote itself with very little to no help from me.  Those are the best!) Writing non-fiction, sharing my life through my blog, sometimes with a laugh and sometimes with tears, is amazing.  I'm still blown away so many people read the words I write.  I had never thought my life that interesting, but here we are.

Sometimes, I blog

Often, in life, when in an argument, or a huge discussion I just want to yell, "Stop! Stop!  Let me write this out."  Because again, with the written word, I can express myself so much better.  It'd be nice if I could stop most arguments and quickly type my feelings out for the other person.  I think it would end most arguments more rapidly and not get to the breaking point. Being hot is fun.  Y'know, cause I'm a MILF.  It's fun to be this attractive.  The younger boys all like me and flirt with me, I get free drinks at the bar, cuts in line, free food and lots of other perks.  Being this amazingly HAWT gets me a lot in life.

Being sexy is hard work

You simply can not imagine what it is like to go through life this goddamn gorgeous.  In spite of all the perks, it's hard sometimes.  Bitches be hating.  Expectations are so high.  I can't ever just lounge around in my pajamas, spend a makeup free day, or let my hair go.  I have to maintain this image at all times, and it's a very high maintenance lifestyle. (It was really hard to write the last two paragraphs without laughing, or snorting wine out of my nose) Put all three together!?  You've got yourself the Queen of the Hot Moms Writers Guild.  It's a huge title, with a lot of responsibility.  This is serious business.  Every day, in every way, I have to be a leader, set the example for the HMWs. I have to juggle being a mother, writing, and keeping up this sexy appearance.  It is not an easy job.

HMW's make only the most adorable children

But, as your Queen HMW's, I promise to always uphold our oath to mother our babies, write from our hearts, and be sexy at all times.  (says the woman typing this in pj's with no makeup on) Be strong, be a great mom, write EVERY DAY, and get your sexy on, Ladies.

Write.  Every.  Single.  Day. 

This was written prior to the events of last Saturday, and the Fallout as I refer to it.  I couldn't bring myself to edit or change one thing about this post.  It is what it was when I was happy and I can't bring myself to change the voice of it.